I have an abbreviation

Have you noticed? I've been on a blogging hiatus. I'm not sure why. It's not that I haven't had anything to talk about. I think it's just that I haven't been able to articulate anything lately in words coherent enough that they can transfer to the keyboard and ultimately, the blog box. But today. Today! I think I might actually be able to post something worthy of reading. Maybe.

I've come to a decision in my life. It involves big letters and a sense of relief. No, I haven't decided to regularly dose myself with Immodium AD. I have, however, decided to diagnose myself with ADD.

See, part of the fun in doing this is that it doesn't involve doctors, money and drugs. Instead, it involves, me, the internet and coffee.

I have ADD. How do I know this? Because as a friend stated, my brain doesn't know how to "be quiet". Remember this post? OK, yes, it's an exaggeration. But it's not terribly so. What's funny interesting is that when I TRY to focus and concentrate, I can't do anything else. It teeters on obsession (which would explain my OCD, but that's been discussed here ad nauseum already, though I'm not at all oppposed to rambling on about it in a future post). So today, thanks to the beauty of internet message boards (we should have an Internet Message Board Awareness Day - I'll start a petition), I have decided I not only have OCD, SAD and hereditary anxiety, I now have ADD!

Yet you still ask (are you serious?) how I know this.

Well. It's the Coffee Test. When ADD people drink caffeine, instead of giving them energy and spunk, it mellows them. They can think calmly. Their synapses aren't going at 90MPH. They feel "normal".

Here's the lightening bolt part of the post. Ready?

That is SO me. SO. Me. Even though my body shakes uncontrollably if I drink coffee on an empty stomach, psychologically, I'm chillin'. I'm able to think without constantly interrupting myself. I feel "normal".

So. To sum up.

Me - ADD.

Got ADD? Drink coffee.

Now, isn't that wild? Caffeine, a STIMULANT, calms ADD people. ADD! ADD, PEOPLE! IT CALMS US! IT'S LIKE A LIQUID ENIGMA!!!


You know what? I didn't have coffee today.

I think I made my point.